Tuesday, March 06, 2007

99 cents is far too much to spend on a Beatles' song

Most of my close friends know that I wholeheartedly dislike two things: the Beatles and the ocean. Admittedly, I have no real solid reason for disliking either and have relied on hollow justifications and a sarcastic smile.

The Beatles:
Annoy me
Have lyrics either written by a stoned 16 year old or a poetic four year old
Stick in my head and make me drink
Had no real identity
Yielded the Monkeys

The ocean:
Is a giant toilet
Is where the dinosaurs went
Will takeover Florida
Creates a subculture of disobedience and sloth
Enables sunburns and shark attacks

And now, I find out that one of my favorite brands, Apple, which has - in its iTunes store - been wonderfully void of Yoko's Boys may make amends with the Beatles' corporate entity (Apple Corps) and create on big fruit-filled love fest.

My idea of hell, which currently consists of being trapped on a cruise ship in the middle of the sea with a continuous soundtrack of the White Album blaring throughout, has now been amended. Instead of speakers piping in Sgt. Pepper, the annoying psychedelic pap is delivered from my iPod...and I can't make it stop...and the waves are crashing...and someone whispers "perfect storm," and I find myself lost in a swirling, bobbing, leaking yellow submarine.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, you're an idiot.

5:49 PM  
Blogger Andy Woolard said...

"anonymous," I am well aware of the stupidity in my dislike. not sure what it is...some people hate tomatoes. I hate the Beatles and the Ocean.

5:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

marvyan says: it seems you know more about the beatles and their albums (white album..yellow submarine) than an average beatle does. it's just ironic as the song goes " to know her is to love her"

GOD BE WITH YOU

2:03 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

When you say these things, it only hurts the feelings of the other things you hate just as much as the Beatles and the Ocean. Like chewing gum and garlic. "Grey's Anatomy." Wait, did you change your mind on that one?

XO

5:08 PM  

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